The move to file a divorce is an intimate procedure and is the start of a new phase in life. Although strategic benefits of being a first-mover in the process of filing have been emphasized, little is said about the drawbacks associated with being the first to file. Some people may think that the advantage in court is automatically to those who file a claim first, it is not quite as straightforward as that.
When you are contemplating divorce, especially to initiate it, this is one of the reasons why it is important to consider the possible dangers as well. There are financial costs, emotional tolls and some restrictions when it comes to a first filing. A first filing may be strategically disadvantageous. To assist you to make a fully informed decision this article examines the prime aspects against you filing for divorce first.
Financial Burden of Being the First to File
The most acute and most real disadvantage of filing first is the economic price. The one who files the divorce has to shoulder the filing fees that vary anywhere between 150 and more than 500 dollars depending on states or countries. That may not sound like much in comparison to the big picture but it’s only the dawn of bigger expenses.
It is the norm that the spouse who files a petition is usually the party to undergo the burden of retainer fees with the lawyers although the spouse may also be forced to incur some other expenses such as the cost of process servers, documentation preparation, and travel expenses to some hearings. Divorce lawsuits often become highly expensive, particularly in the event of a contested divorce or a prolonged divorce.
Also, being the first to file can necessitate prior spending on financial consultants, counselors, or child custody experts to help in the case early on. Although all these services are useful, they are expensive and may overburden the petitioner way before the settlement is agreed upon.
Emotional Consequences of Making the First Move
The act of filing for divorce can bring about the great cost in terms of emotions especially when it comes to the one who initiates the divorce. Even in the situation when the relations turned sour, the very thought of initiating the proceedings that will adequately conclude the marriage and make it official can lead to the development of the feelings of guilt, anxiety, or even sadness. This emotional weight can be increased when the other spouse responds with anger or shock, causing the filer to appear to be the villain in spite of the fact that both sides were not happy.
As the file, one also faces the facts as they are, the fact of divorce. It can leave you feeling alone like you are being judged by loved ones and friends. In circumstances that involve children, you may be concerned about the way the children receive your decision and how the ex-marriage partner is going to explain to the children your contribution in the split.
This emotional burden in certain instances may result in poor reasoning skills and derive the ability to hold a coherent thought when it comes to negotiation or in court.
Legal Disadvantages in Certain Jurisdictions
The advantage of being the first to file can mean jurisdictional privilege, but it may mean legal penalty too depending on where you are located. Not all the states or countries give favor to either of the parties based on the idea of who arrives first. Indeed, in certain courts, the petitioner/respondent aspect is clearly overlooked when ruling on issues of custody, support or asset partition.
In others, jumping into action may defeat the purpose as the first filer may only face a comeback with jurisdiction objection or counter claim issues. As an example, in case spouses reside in different states, the responding spouse may initiate litigation in a state that is more friendly to him/her. When it turns out into a jurisdictional fight, it holds up proceedings and drives costs up.
Furthermore, some judges can regard a filing first as an offensive or believe that the petitioner is more interested in the victory than in negotiating. The perception might unscrupulously interfere with the process of handling the case in the courts.
Increased Pressure to Present the Stronger Case
Because you filed first, you have the responsibility of determining the initial story behind the divorce. Although this may read as a plus, it is a disadvantage in the sense that you will have to be prepared right off the bat. Your petition is the tone and might have child custody, division of property, and spousal support suggestions. The court and the other party look into these suggestions and you should have the support of the law to defend them.
This initial pressure has the potential to place you at a disadvantage when you have not yet had adequate time to collect all of the documentation or legal counsel that you may need. Improper filings can sink your credibility, give poor first impressions or simply lead to a bad divorce.
The responding spouse, in turn, will have more time to study your claims, find evidence and argue a rebuttal. It can also be an advantage because they will have prior knowledge to your strategy and will be able to refute it better.
Strained Negotiations and Increased Conflict
In hundreds of situations, the spouse served with a divorce petition can be shocked, be betrayed or even get angry, especially when one is blindsided by the initiators of the divorce. Such emotional response might create even more refusal in the process and spread a situation that could have been a friendly separation into a debatable conflict.
The respondent spouse can view such an action of the filing spouse as powerplay or a control exercise, and the situation escalates into greater conflict and inability to collaborate. This emotional strain tends to lead to long court battles and increased legal expenses on both sides in addition to a more antagonistic relationship between sides and to their children.
It is also highly possible that being the first mover can put you in a more defensive position because it may have to constantly defend its actions and provide reasons why it had instigated the process. This may in turn complicate modes of mediation, compromise, and collaborative divorce.
No Guarantee of Favorable Outcomes
People tend to think that the initiating side of a divorce has an upper hand. Although in certain scenarios you may raise your arguments first before a court, this is not a guarantee that the decision will be in your favor. Courts do not make a decision about who is more deserving on the basis of who filled the papers but on facts, evidence, and law provisions.
Such is the case on child custody, alimony, and property division as their resolution is grounded on best interest of the child and equitable division of matrimonial assets respectively based on who files the case. Being the first to file does not give you the extra edge on assets or custody.
Having a false belief that you are the first and this will put you in a more preferred position may make a person complacent or overconfident. It may also lead you to under-prepare yourself to appear in court, conduct discovery or negotiations.
Potential Impact on Children and Co-Parenting
In two-parent households with children, the initiator in the divorce may be perceived (or labeled by the other parent) by the children as having broken up the family. Although both parents may be unhappy, the mere act of involving lawyers to file the divorce can mentally and psychologically alter the way the children perceive the separation.
It may put a strain on the relationship with the initiating parent and his or her children in case the parent who may not have initiated is parentally alienating them or is otherwise manipulating the story. These patterns may make co-parenting difficult and have an effect on your relations with children in the long term.
Filing first can also complicate the possibility of the divorce being portrayed as a mutual decision, which can be advantageous to children that are struggling to process the emotional and confusing circumstances.
Limited Room for Emotional Closure or Mutual Decision-Making
In most marital units, both couples arrive at a stage where they realize that the relationship is doomed. Filing first though can exclude the possibility of mutual closure, or coming up with a joint decision. By making the process a fait accompli, the petitioner can close the door on opportunities to have final conversations, alternatively seek and receive joint marriage counseling, or create a concerted approach to the separation.
This may make the other spouse feel disrespected or surprised and can adversely alter the tone of divorce and subsequent interactions. In the case of a collaborative or civil divorce, going to the front lines or unilaterally may hamper the chances of a collaboration.
In other types of cases, it helps to work out in collaboration with your spouse– as far as it can be done– the terms of the divorce before commencing legal proceedings. This can cut down legal expenses, emotional agony and enduring strife.
Exposure to Legal Counterclaims or Retaliation
The first filing presents an opportunity to the responding spouse to file counterclaims against you, and this aspect may complicate the initial petition. This can take the form of frivolous charges of infidelity, misrepresentation of finances, custody requests, or extra alimony in bitter divorce cases.
Such counterclaims may surprise the petitioner and alter the process of divorce in a big way. In other scenarios, the respondent can counter- attack them by applying all available legal means as a way of prolonging the process, inflating legal expenses or mounting emotional pressure.
This means that he/she who is first to file can end up in an unintended, unwanted and undesired legal quagmire which could well have been avoided through a slower approach or a different course of action.
Conclusion: Carefully Consider Before Filing First
According to PiedmontDivorcePlanning, Filing a divorce first is not a slight matter to take. As much as it might provide some strategic advantage in a particular circumstance, it also carries a number of possible drawbacks-financial, emotional, legal and relationship.
You are encouraged to seek the advice of a skilled family law attorney, to assess, and to weigh the options, in addition to the long-term effects of the action prior to initiating the process and to also understand where you stand emotionally. Filing first may be empowering, but unless one is well prepared may ricochet.
Often, deliberation, indulgence or even consideration over whether to get a divorce or not with your spouse can make the experience less acrimonious and more amicable. Divorce is a major and psychological process. Should you file first or not though, the most important thing is to go into it with a good sense of intention and possibly, a good sense of strategy and support too.
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